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“My hero’s have the heart to live the life I want to live…All I can remember is thinking I want to be like them.” – song: Crazy by: Ceelo Green

Happy, sad, angry, lonely are pretty common emotions. Envy and selfishness, these are common too, though often overlooked. They’re real. As real as the others. Do you wish to have something that doesn’t belong to you? Sure. Do you want something or someone all to yourself? Often. Envy leads to unattainable expectations. Living beyond your means, dating beyond your level (sorry, not sorry). That’s what I know about envy. Selfishness, I know much about. I am a selfish person.  I am selfish with my time and energy. I could be sitting right next to you and be miles away inside my head. I am selfish with the people I love and care about. If the vibe is right, why would we need a crowd?

I once heard someone say that people cry about the death of someone for their own selfish reasons. They cry because they are more concerned with now having to live their lives without that person. True, that does sound selfish. But why would that be a bad thing? If you enjoyed knowing the person, than you should miss them. Grief…that’s an emotion too. And at times it can seem a little selfish.

I knew of Anthony Bourdain the same as most folks did. Through the television screen. Every so often I would hear him on a podcast talk at length about his travels. He seemed to be this cool, mature, stoic, fun-loving, beer drinking, over-indulging man. He captured our attention while he traveled the globe seeing interesting places and meeting interesting people. He talked about customs, traditions, cooking, love, politics, and simply life. Nonchalantly he told you to step outside your bubble. See the world. Try new things. I wouldn’t call him my hero, but he definitely inspired me to broaden my horizons.

I write this post for my own selfish reasons, I guess. It sucks to know he won’t be out there, somewhere, exploring.

Death is always a delicate part of life to navigate. Words don’t always seem to fit.

Take care.

Keshia